Part III

This is the third and final installment in the people smashing into things series. In Part I we had head butt sailor woman, in Part II we had Pepper boy , and Part III features a guy named Patrick. This incident happened at the same place as Part I. I was putting in another session of “trying to learn how to swim before Saturday” and had been cruising along for a good 45 minutes. I was swimming in the last lane against the the wall of the pool and for some reason I have the tendency to hug the left side of the lane, when I turn to breathe my mouth is either 2 inches from the lane divider or in this particular case the wall. On this particular lap I really felt like I was moving, I was saying encouraging things to myself to fire me up like, “Michael Phelps couldn’t do this” or, ” I feel like a fish.” and so forth. I was fired up. Also, and this is important, there is a ladder in the direction that I am heading, on the left side of the pool, the only way a human could smash head first into that ladder was if they were hugging the left side of the pool and maybe showing a little to much enthusiasm. I felt like I met the criteria for this ladder smash. I do hug the left side of the pool and I did refer to myself as a fish, which shows enthusiasm. Two seconds later I smashed the ladder, head first, the “what in the crap just happened” look followed right after. Saying I was stunned would be an understatement. I would like to say I shook it off, gathered myself and swam the final 5 feet to the wall, but that did not happen. I went into the fairy stroke. Instead of grabbing the wall, I flapped my arms up and down like I was a fairy. Not really moving one way or the other, just flapping. I think my goal was to explode out of the water like a rocket ship. After 10 seconds of that I turned and grabbed the wall. I am pretty sure people noticed, skull on metal is loud, and after my freaking out stroke I made a wave pool so small children were being tossed out of the water because of me. So this concludes the people smashing into things series. Check back tomorrow, with Saturday being the first race I ll give a sneak preview of what will happen to me. 

 

Patrick

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